Not a retraction

Music – John Prine – Paradise

A final note on Bay to Breakers:

A bit ago I wrote about how loathesome and vile the NIMBY assroosters who were protesting against B2B were.  I wrote that I hated them and prayed for their agonizing and slow deaths.

I am not apologizing.  All you assholes are still terrible and should be ashamed of yourselves.  You are the anti-cool and nobody wants you in this town.  Move back to Orinda with the rest of the fucking wet blankets.

That being said, I was partially duped.  San Francisco played up the whining of these douchebags so subtly and with such political finesse that even I, hawkeyed disbeliever that I am, fell for it.

Oh but I was mistaken.  I forgot for a moment that the government of this city, that governments in general, do not care one tiny whit for their fucking citizenry.  If they did, SF wouldn’t be full of addicts and thieves, and would smell less like human shit.  The vocal NIMBY shitbags, though… they were just patsies this time.

Now, I hate the Chronicle as much as the next man.  San Francisco’s “Official Paper” hasn’t been fit to line a fucking birdcage for twenty years, and I will not shed tear one when it collapses under the weight of its own obsolescent suckitude.  The Death of Print Journalism in SF will be mourned by none but Luddites and Chronicle employees.  Anyone who reads the news regularly enough to give a shit knows not to read the Chronicle.

Sometimes a diamond of truth makes an appearance in the mountains of black, foul coal the Chronicle shovels out every day, though.  And in their latest B2B article, one appeared.  Underneath eight inches of quotes from Western Addition assholes complaining about “property damage” or whatever the fuck, there was one sentence of particular interest.

I can’t find the article now, probably because the Chronicle’s website is so fucking ghetto and broken and worthless, so I’ll paraphrase. (Attention SFGate, 1996 called and wants its crap-ass website back.)

‘The cleanup fees for last year’s Bay to Breakers cost sponsor ING more than $50,000 more than estimated.’


A hundred years of glorious tradition overturned on the whim of some whiny twats on the Panhandle? I don’t think so.  I should have known better than to believe Newsom and that scourge of the City known as the SFPD when they tried to pin this Death of Fun campaign on the NIMBYs.  No way.  They don’t give a shit about those people.  ING, however… ING is a multinational corporation.  ING can make campaign contributions.  ING can afford kickbacks.  And ING was unhappy with the mess they’d had to clean up last year.

This little factoid, dropped into the ass end of a boring article by some careless copy editor, made it all so clear.  The City hadn’t caved to the NIMBYs, they’d sold us out to the Multinats.

So next year, instead of going that extra mile to key every Audi and poop in every driveway from Fillmore to Lyon because those assholes are ruining our B2B, let’s just tear down or deface every ING poster we see.  There will be no shortage of them, I guarantee it.

On second thought maybe we should do both.  Just to cover our bases.  There are a hundred thousand of us after all.  I’m sure we can find the manpower.


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