The insects are huge and the poison’s all been used

Should have written last night, when I was still all wound up.

It’s announcement time: the Early Twenties Golden Era can now officially commence. Friends, employment is imminent.

I’ve still got a few interviews to go through for other companies, but unless they offer me the rewards of Islamic paradise such as 72 virgins and excellent dental coverage, I will soon be gainfully employed by…

*drumroll*

Mr. Wesley Lazara.

Together we will form a merry pair of IT superheroes, a sort of Mel Gibson / Danny Glover duo bringing hope and fast internet to the confused and disenfranchised. Dry your tears, little one, for we are here to fix your computer.

This sets it all in motion, kids, because the last obstacle between me and said Golden Era was, of course, dollaz. Now, well not now but very soon, I’ll be living in The City and reveling in the glory of youth and independence. Prepare yourselves.

———————————————

Fishing Conversations on Fallen Leaf Lake

“Hand me the bow and arrow.”
“What?”
“It’s in the locker under the minnow bucket. Get it quick, he’s coming around again.”
“He who?”
“That douchemug waterskiier, who do you think? Give me the bow.”
“You can’t shoot a waterskiier with a bow and arrow.”
“They’re hard to hit, granted, but even if I miss I’ll scare him off. Give me the god damn bow.”

Those of you not in the know may be unaware of the eternal struggle between fishermen and waterskiiers. The two sides have been locked in remorseless territorial competition for so long, nobody even remembers who started it. It’s a very Gaza Strip kind of relationship.

———————————————–

Today’s Honorary Deputy badge goes to Mz. Candace Cheng, for beating up a schizophrenic homeless psycho in Oakland just moments after finishing her 14 hour MCAT test. Kudos to you, Deputy Cheng!

———————————————-

I can’t write during the day. This all feels wrong, the words don’t work. I’ll be back at a more respectable hour.

-T.

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One Response to “The insects are huge and the poison’s all been used”

  1. Gimme that 2 oz. sinker! I think I can cast it right into their boat.

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