First Post!

 Yeah, alright, I started a blog.

I feel dirty.

I’ve been contemplating starting one of these bastards for the last few weeks, and as of today my perpetual combination of mindshattering boredom, desire to write, and propensity for badmouthing others reached a sort of critical mass and I actually signed up.  It was either this or take a nap, and I couldn’t really get to sleep.

I suppose there are worse things I could do with my time than get tangled up in this bullshit.  I mean, what’s not to like? A special place on the internet where pathetic 14 year olds can gather to mourn the tragedy of suburban life, where they can share their meaningless whining with mid-20’s tools who think using a Mac and wearing sweaters makes them intellectual.  And then there’s me, looking both directions to see who’s watching before I sneak in the back door to this distinguished and impressive little e-club.  The shame weighs heavy on my shoulders, but I am not a quitter, and there is no depth to which I won’t sink to amuse myself or others.  Dignity is so last-year, anyway. Besides, this blogging horseshit seems like a relatively harmless alternative to my other options for entertainment.  Who knows, maybe it’s keeping me from a life of crime, a reckless existence filled with hard drugs and gang warfare.  Maybe my own little slice of internet real estate is the only thing standing between me and a frenzy of self-destructive behaviors like cop-punching and fanatical religious devotion. Somehow I doubt it, but it’s a pleasant fiction.

It will be nice to have a forum in which I can post my perpetually warped and strange thoughts.  I can seek answers to some of the questions that fill my head every day:

Could I beat up Julia Roberts?

How far could Joe Montana throw a smurf, and could he spiral it?

What’s the deal with fat people?

I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see what develops on this carte blanche

Tune in next time and be reminded why my opinions are so much more valid than your own.



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